For example, avoid saying things like, “I really feel like you are not holding up your end of things at work” or “You’re not contributing enough to our group project.” Even if those things are true, remember, it’s best to approach from a place of support and concern. Language that feels judgemental or accusatory.But you can circle back around to your concerns if you continue to notice things that worry you. Be comfortable with silence if they need to take their time.
#WHO TO START HOW TO#
They may not be ready to tell you everything, or they may not know how to articulate what they’re going through. So listening to how they feel is as important as listening to the specific events that drive their feelings.īe patient. It might be impossible to change the situation, but it can be possible to bear witness, validate, or even soothe their emotions. The various events, exchanges and people that are involved in stressful situations matter, but what’s most significant is their emotional reaction to the details. Listen to details of their story, but also listen for the specific emotions they are sharing. What is most important is that your actions follow your words – do not say you care and want to be there for them and then disappear for long periods of time. This can be as simple a periodic but regular text or DM check-ins. It’s important for your friend to know they have a support system to lean on. Sometimes when we’re struggling, we isolate ourselves or feel like no one understands what we’re going through. For example, you can say things like, “It concerned me when you said…” or “I am worried about you because I have noticed that you seem – low energy, sad, angry, depressed – the last few times we’ve talked.” Being clear about what you’re noticing and making it clear that you are sharing your perception, which may or may not be in alignment with their reality, is helpful for your friend and makes it easier to follow up on their behavior over time.
#WHO TO START FULL#
For example, you could say something like, “You seem a little down lately and I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you.” Be sure to be able to give them your full attention from the outset. Start the conversation from a place of concern and support.A loud, crowded space is not the right venue. You could offer to grab coffee, hang out at one your homes, or go for a walk. Choose a location that is conducive to having a talk in relative privacy.These methods of communication are preferable to just texting or messaging because you can get a better sense of nonverbal cues, like how they look and how they react to what you say. Meet up in person, or schedule a phone call or video chat.I feel like we haven’t had a chance to hang out or talk like we normally do. Maybe it’s just everything going on right now, but I wanted to check in and see if we could sit down and catch up.” Or, “Hey, I miss you. You could start with something like, “You don’t seem like yourself lately. Ask them to get together or check in with you.Here are some things you can do to make the conversation more comfortable for you and your friend. That can be hard, especially if you’ve never done it before or if you also come from a family or culture where talking openly is uncommon. It’s important to trust your instincts about how and when to bring up your concerns. How to Approach to a Friend You’re Worried About
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